IT'S A BIRD! NO, IT'S DA SHIT! AAAAAAACKK--

Nobadi is realize dat i, Tsai, am in hell dis wik. pity me, whorld.


In da first day Monday, my period is kam, prooobing dat indid, i am ob da female ispishi. Bat den kams da opis work, and bepor i know it, my butt is BLOODY!!!

So...

i go to dat sekan plor and buy a short pant, and a disposable undie. Goodbye, 359 pesos...

so i am sad because i am goodbye to my maney.

and in da later on ob dis wik... i am become part ob ischopid Red Eye Society!!! Like my eyes are red and hab power!! biri hasol to me, bat ob kors, i am to stay at da home, so dat part is ok. but da red eyes is not ok, like i am hab Sharinggan in da Naruto cartoon. I wish ip i hab red eyes, I hab power olso, like an X-ray in my enbisioning but no! it is onli ITCHI! GRAAAAAGGHH!!!

and so in da morning ob my diskabery of dat red eye power, i am run to da pharmacy and buy all kinds ob anti-bacteria tings... and my eye drops also... Goodbye, 300 pesos por eye drops... Goodbye 500 por groceries...

su i am sad agin. su wat i do? wat i do? i gader da red eye society (brader, kasen, harbey's sistar, and me) and we are agree, dat we are quarantine harvey inside garbage bag when he get back. he is to da blame, derfore, president of red eye society in da home...

and we ar buy jankpud, and we watch jit li in his kicking mobs.

October 1996
To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks [lakad] and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that. And then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thoughth your the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Marie Chan? Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when
she is a girl.

Love,

The Sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S. You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me. There you go.

DIGITAL YOUR LIFE

I hab wibkam, yu hab wibkam? i am buy wibkam in I red d insyd ob manual, biri gud, biri..biri... deses or siknis. laking in baytamin bi-wan ulso kuld tayamin.

Page 3

Feature Function

1: Video-phone: advanced video-phone can chat with face to face
2. Digital camera: can take photos by connecting computer, make card and so on
4. Far distance control: can preview picture in far distance
6. Can preview in near distance and enlarge 25 times

Page 6

Frequent asked questions:

2. Q: The color of picture is not verisimilitude when operate the video camera the first time.
4. Q: If can I use the other digital products when I use the video camera?
5. Q: the video camera can’t operation on the notebook.
6: Q: When I install the new driver, the speed of the video camera is slow.
A: please delete the old driver, then operation the video camera.

I dunt layk to bi bedyu kamira, dey ar upirit mi...in i bit wed noo aunte tisia!!! biri bad...

BIRI...

potos ibribadi!

(wat hab yu bn hiring bepor iniwi? kakrots?!!!)

(yu sound layk yu tok to yorselp... or to TV hom shapping...)

(yis ob kors, onli smil...)

it's onli proben, ibriwan is takagyawyaw!

me oh me

oh me so lonely

oh me so far

oh me so lovely

oh me...

everybody...

in Dumagiti?

pirs is dat bira li go to hongkong, now yinyin is gan to dat Dumagiti, ay sus ginoo, wat is dis Bathala doing to us kating as to peses. hol marts dat yinyin is news always to dat news-les Dumagiti, en shi is si is biri boring to der.

so dat it is nat boring to der, yinyin, i wil go der and kil parson, many parson, so you hab news to you der. gret sakses!

happiness indeed is beyond measuring tape that is inside the sewing box beside the black sewing machine... ayt!!!

I am so much in happiness upon the seeing organ of my face when i saw in flesh the more in flesh veraleigh just right coming back in the hongkong outside this pearly country of ours...

I am so proud that she coming back all in one pieces... indeed she is the daughter, long lost in translation daughter of daddy columbus...

let us rising all our glasses and give veraleighlasam the toaster for success... great successes of the century... let us all give "pugay" to the never but is the queen of atlantis citis.

that i tell you my friend of ours... that happiness is equals to seeing your friend alive after being the dead in sooooo much days you will never can be imagining.

... it is when all the friendship is "tahi" together to be one and no measuring tape can ever measure the length, the width, the curviness, and everything in everything...

cherry tops to friendship all of you my preciousness... we are all the blood and flesh of the no more blood and flesh daddy columbus. AYT!!!?

Hu is post dat pikchur!

O! it is dat vera going to dat hongkong ob hers! schupid kapshon makes sense! Bira Li, do yo no de essens of dis blag? BLAG!

Layp is unfair, our tings, da bag, da orange and da grin jaket is go to hongkong wid vera and lib the oners of thos tings here rating in da pilipins! how opul! bat we lab yu bira li, bring as da mini wanderpuls, da mini mini wanderpul tings...

nine pm! omaygad! we ar run awt ob taym in dis internet to dis lab! unpr!

spiking ob unpr, a artist istitmint say dat layp is unpr. he is make long story, make karakters and gib dem misirable layps, biri long story, biri long, biri biri loooongg and ol he say is.

layp is unperrrrr.......

soco...errrrrrr.... scene ob the kraym operatibsss.... eeeerrrr.....

dried duck

hong kong's buwad

production of columbus

hahahaha finland australia malaysia philippines...
ey!!... columbia espanya new zealand africa...
more globally destinasyon in the mapping of the gods greatest creation...

the earth!

we is celebrator the becoming of the next greatest alsa balutan in da historical background of the philipino people to the legitimate children of the eastern sun... i we is going to be the next true feets of columbus...

we sail...

we fly...

we crawl...

that are to be ignated by the most beautifully but wrongly done by the goddesses in sense of smell... vera.

to the hongkong she will be spreading everything she can be spreading...

and the we... remaining amigas and amigos in 5 feet and few inches large enough will be the praying mantis for the safetyness of the journey our vera will be embracing with her little red riding hood arms.

we will... in crossing butterfingers wait for the ultimate success of our vera in carrying the name of our idol columbus...

mmmmm...

of yo gow our vera! you wave the beautiful rectangle flag to the left, to the right, to up... but never to the down.